By Rebecca Lawrence

Welcome to the Booker Albert Biweekly! Join us today to hear my thoughts on what makes the perfect hook. The above for example is not an extraordinary hook. This is the intro to a newsletter, which by nature tends to be quite formulaic. But surprisingly, even for the creative arts, there is a method to the madness. Nearly every aspect of the creative process starts with some sort of formula, and the hook is no different.

How to Catch an Agent—Hook, Line, and Sinker

Have you ever sent your book to a friend or family member, only to hear nothing back? You know they didn’t read much of it.

Throughout high school and college, I have had many friends express interest in reading my novels. They were fascinated by my intricate worldbuilding and characters. "Send me the book!" they would say.

And I did. Then—crickets.

Over time, I realized they were more interested in my passion than in spending hours reading an unedited, amateur novel. I don’t blame them, but it left me with one pressing question: How do you grab someone from the very first line of your book?

As I’ve gained experience as a creative editor, that question has become less mysterious, though it retains an incredibly subjective element. Below, I break down how to craft a hook that keeps me reading until I sign the book.

Examples of Effective Hooks

These are some raw, unedited hooks from some of the books that captured my attention and encouraged me to continue reading the until I signed that author:

• THE SELLER OF SECRETS—On the island of Bardia, the attuale magic stirred.

• WHEN LIBERTY WEPT—There are four of them. They fill the doorframe, spilling into the front hall.

• DEATH LIVES IN THE ATTIC—The crisp autumn weather this October seemed extra still, as if someone had put it on pause.

• THE CLOAK AND ITS WIZARD—I’m picky about wizards.

• THE TWIN SOULS OF NOKLYN—“There were three heartbeats,” Acolyte Locke says to himself while wiping his bloody hands on a cloth rag.

What Makes These Hooks Work?

Nearly every successful hook does one or more of the following:

• Creates tension

• Introduces an intriguing concept

• Communicates the initial tone by describing a visually stunning scene

Here’s how the hooks above fit into these categories:

• Concept/Scene Setting — On the island of Bardia, the attuale magic stirred.

• Tension/Scene Setting — There are four of them. They fill the doorframe, spilling into the front hall.

• Scene Setting — The crisp autumn weather this October seemed extra still, as if someone had put it on pause.

• Concept — I’m picky about wizards.

• Concept/Scene Setting/Tension — “There were three heartbeats,” Acolyte Locke says to himself while wiping his bloody hands on a cloth rag.

What Can We Learn from Famous First Lines?

Now that we have looked at hooks from my personal experience, let’s study what works. Let’s look at some well-known fantasy openings:

• "The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed."
  — Stephen King, The Gunslinger

  This line immediately creates tension. There is immediate action. We don’t know who the man in black is or why he’s being chased, but we already want to find out.

• "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit."
  — J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

  This line introduces a concept. What are hobbits? And why do they live in the ground?

• “The studio was filled with the rich odor of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.”

  —Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
  This descriptive line sets the scene and the tone for the beginning of this book. From this readers will expect that more beautifully visual lines like this. It also sets the tone of decadence and beauty, setting the stage for the novel's exploration of aestheticism and the conflict between outward appearance and inner corruption.

But not all hooks are created equal. Here’s an example of what not to do:

• "Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there was a kingdom where magic existed."

  Why it fails: This feels generic. There’s nothing unique or intriguing—no reason for the reader to keep going. The author of this might consider rewriting it to focus on a unique aspect of their premise. Something like: "One cool October evening, the king’s most trusted wizard disappeared without a trace."

• "The sun rose over the tranquil village, casting golden hues on the thatched rooftops."

  Why it fails: This feels generic. Tranquil is not very specific. There is nothing voicey about this description. It might evoke some atmosphere and an image in your head, but it could be much stronger.

  This line needs more voice. Something like: “The sun dragged itself up over the sleepy village, casting lazy golden light that knocked against each thatched rooftop and slipped through the cracks between shutters, informing the town it was time to wake.”

• “"He stepped into the dark alley, glancing over his shoulder, but there was nothing behind him."

  Why it fails: This does have the potential to be an interesting tension inspiring hook. The action of entering a dark alley and looking over the shoulder sets up some tension, but the anticlimactic reveal that there’s nothing behind him diffuses any sense of danger.

  Could be stronger as: “When the unmistakable echo of footsteps came from behind him, he turned—and saw nothing.”

Be Sure to Avoid Information Overload

While an intriguing premise is great, too much information too soon can be overwhelming. If I wanted to rewrite one of my authors’ hooks into something ineffective it would be like this:

• THE CLOAK AND ITS WIZARD—As a magical artifact who has a lot of opinions about wizards, I really take my time when looking for the perfect wizard to bond with.

Why doesn’t this work?

• It overexplains instead of creating curiosity.

• It isn’t punchy or memorable.

• It suggests readers will have to wade through more dense exposition.

If you’re writing a hook that introduces your world, keep it simple and intriguing. Readers aren’t invested yet. They don’t have the drive to listen to the gritty details yet, and they don’t want to be confused from the very first line. Give them just enough to make them want more.

Crafting a Strong Hook

Want to write a killer first line? Try these approaches:

Use Tension — Start with action or a moment of suspense.
Example: "Over the harsh sound of his own breathing, Baltsaros could hear his pursuers splashing in puddles and shouting to each other in the dark."
— Nicole Luiken, The Simple Queen (Unpublished)

Paint a Picture — A visually stunning line can set the tone and create atmosphere.
Example: "The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."
— William Gibson, Neuromancer

Hint Toward Your Unique Concept— A great hook makes the reader wonder what happens next.
Example: "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."
— George Orwell, 1984

At the end of the day, the best hooks do one thing: they make the reader ask a question they absolutely need answered. That’s the key to keeping them turning pages.

Booker Albert Update

We are unfortunately saying goodbye to Andie Smith! Though we are sad to see her go, we wish her well on all her endeavors! See you around Andie!

A Song to Wake a Thousand Sorrows: A Hauntingly Beautiful Fantasy

Some books just hit you. When I first picked up A Song to Wake a Thousand Sorrows, I had no idea what was in store. Just look at this first line: The creature in the swamp could not remember being a woman, though its form remained that of a human female.

I’m going to be honest, this book isn’t really a current read since I read it all in a single sitting. The hook does a fabulous job of inspiring questions about the concept and evoking tension, causing me to wonder about the future conflict (will she become human again?). Very much in the same vein as When the Moon Hatched, it’s a story that describes the powerful journey of recovering from trauma—something that lingers long after the final page.

Fair warning: This book is quite dark, and it ends on a cliffhanger. I would recommend checking out the trigger warnings before reading this book.

I can’t wait to read the sequel!

Blurb

Clare Brighton has spent her life clawing her way toward security, determined that the horrors of her past will never touch her again. Armed with nothing but a battered guitar and the rare gift of a Songweaver, she arrives in the capital of the Faelhorn Provinces, ready to claim her place among the elite. But Clare harbors a secret far more dangerous than her music. An ancient force she calls the Song stirs within her—restless, insatiable, and no longer willing to be contained. And the ruthless Jackal King has spent years searching for such power. If he discovers what she carries, the cost will be far greater than her life. Clare has vowed that no one will ever control her again. But escaping the Jackal King’s notice will require something she never wanted: allies. A pair of noble lords who see more than she’d like. A second prince hiding secrets of his own. And, in the end, the Song itself—if it does not consume her first.

Check out these new releases!!!

Flirty Dancing

Druid Cursed

Stay tuned every Thursday 10 AM.

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Happy reading,
Rebecca Lawrence